George Clooney Hates Facebook

by James Shaw, Creative Director
George Clooney

George Clooney

EOnline.com, Sept. 13, 2009 "I'd rather have a rectal examination on live TV by a fellow with cold hands than have a Facebook page." Having just read a book (Robopocalypse) about computers and machines ganging up on humanity and wreaking havoc, I have to say I can relate to the growing chasm between technology lovers and technology haters.  I'm not sure if the anger/hatred is really about what Facebook, Twitter, iPhones, Google Maps, etc. stand for.  I mean, people still talked, liked what other people said, stuck pins on a map 100 years ago, right? Basically, I think some people simply prefer old tools to new ones.  Fair enough.  Being an integrated marketing agency, our job is to effectively communicate using many different methods. The communications channels keep changing, as do the people who fall in love with this channel or that channel.  While the essence of the message remains very much the same, each channel (and their fanboys/girls) likes it customized.  Also, each channel has inherent strengths and weaknesses. Example Ballistic Beach Balls Inc. wants to promote their balls. On your website, you'd create a banner on the homepage which links to your product page(s).  You'd also write a blog post that talks about the Beach Ball Sales Event - what it's all about, what makes Ballistic balls so great, and what's up for grabs with your contests, etc.  Think of your website as your digital homebase.  Your other marketing channels should somehow point back home. In the Newspaper, you'd run a Ballistic Ball Sales Event (including a "signup at www.ballistic.com" or something) On the Radio, you'd announce your Ballistic Balls Sales Event (including a "learn more at www.ballistic.com" or something) On Facebook, you'd run a contest for fans to submit there funniest "beach ball" photos.  Winner gets a new Ballistic Beach Ball. (Easy/fun contests get talked about can really take off on Facebook.) On Twitter, you'd post a link to a crazy YouTube video showing Ernie the sealion playing with 3 beach balls.  Your little button or promo appears at the end. (Funny videos get passed or "Retweeted" pretty often, which is great word of mouth) In an email, you'd briefly mention all of the above, and provide links so people can follow-up with their preferred communications channels. In person, you'd tell people about the crazy sealion video and have a laugh, or "Hey, you (or your kids) should enter our Facebook contest!" People don't need a strategy with their friends, they simply share stuff they like.  It's that simple. On the phone with a reseller, you'd share the awesome stuff you're doing to promote Ballistic Beach Balls which should drive demand - aka, better order a 1000 cuz they'll be popular this summer. At an event, you'd get your friend George Clooney (or an Okanagan Sun player) to endorse your beach balls, while announcing that your company is donating 100 to Kelowna General Hospital children's ward. In the local press, you'd submit a story using content from all of the above.  Maybe you'd get free newspaper, radio, or TV coverage... who knows? On the internet, you'd share your knowledge on other sites, and online communities, promoting your product while being genuine and not a selfish spammer. Okay, okay... enough!  This is way oversimplified, but you get the idea.  Each channel is treated differently, but they all integrate with each other. Moral of the Story: Do your customers hate Facebook (or whatever channel) as much as you do?  Lucky! Stick with what works, but it could change pretty fast so keep your eyes peeled. Do your customers love a communications channel that you hate?  Your business is going to suffer, unless you adapt.  Find someone that "gets it" and let them run that part of your business. Other Famous Technophobes & Haters Barack ObamaPresident Barack Obama Hampton University commencement speech, May 10, 2010 "With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and Playstations - none of which I know how to work - information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation." Keira KnightleyKeira Knightley Daily Telegraph, Apr 13, 2009 "I hate the Internet. I find it dehumanizing to constantly check e-mails or social sites which have become so fashionable." PrincePrince Daily Mirror, May 7, 2010 "All these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers, and that can't be good for you." Ray BradburyRay Bradbury Los Angeles Times, Aug. 16, 2010 "We have too many cell phones. We've got to get rid of those machines. We have too many machines now. Edward AlbeeEdward Albee Vice, Dec. 2010 "I walk along the streets of New York and I find people bumping into each other, bumping into things, and they have these things in their ears or in their face. They're not seeing anything of the real world." Jack WhiteJack White NME.com, Apr. 6, 2010 "In my head, I'm still living and working as if there is no Internet and treat it as a nuisance." Drew BarrymoreDrew Barrymore Nylon, Aug. 2010 "Ironically, with all this 'We're now more connected than ever with technology,' I don't think we've ever been farther apart."